Instead of a blog for this week, I wanted to share a radio / podcast interview, which I completed in Australia. If you are interesting in the challenges of being a parent, this interview should hit several important issues, including prioritizing your time and assessing your skills. Here is one LINK for the interview, which can be found on the Internet. Here is ANOTHER LINK for the interview, which can be found on iTunes. Again, I hope this discussion proves to be of value for any parent who is currently searching for ways to become a better parent with better parenting results and a closer relationships with their children. Let me know if the discussion helps.
If you have been following my web site, the last two blogs have focused on the death of my mother and my realization that I was mourning more than my mother; I was mourning the parts of my mother that I never got the chance to know. With that as my motivation, I perused my mother’s high school diary. Here is an entry from 1938. You tell me what I have learned …
“My eighteenth birthday will always be on one of the happiest days of my life. Early in the morning my Dad rushed into my room and gave me eighteen dollars and eighteen whacks. Then my brother sneaked in his present and asked me how I felt after eighteen years of insanity. He gave me the darlingest lapel gold clip with five charms, representing a street scene. At school everyone commented how nice I looked. I had on a navy blue swing skirt with a red linen blouse. Over it, I wore a navy blue jacket, which had white Chinamen faces with top hats printed on it. I put a blue bow in my page-boy style hair to complete the ensemble.
At school we received our grades from some recent […]
Here is what I said at my mother’s funeral on June 11, 2016
As I stand here next to the flowers, the urn, and the picture of my mother, I am reminded that I stood in this exact same spot in 2007, nine year ago. That was at the funeral of my father. In some ways, it seems like an eternity ago; in other ways, it feels like it happened just yesterday. With my father’s death, I experienced an unusual reaction. I was bombarded with forgotten memories of my dad. It was as if the neurons in my brain were randomly firing, primped by my grief. They left me with a clear message of my father’s true value.
There was a score of these long-since forgotten memories, but let me share three of them. I remembered an incident where I threw up beside some mountain road, probably around the age of 4-5. I could not recall any details, but I recalled the feel of my dad’s hand, as he leaned me forward so I could throw up onto the dirt. I also remembered a car accident around the age of 9. When the green light came on, we started across the intersection […]
A mother’s death is universal, but it is similar yet different for each of us. For this reason, I want to share the night my mother (age 96) died and what I learned from that loss – with the hope that my reaction strikes a chord, perhaps helping you gain an expanded perspective of yourself and life itself.
Let me set the stage. In a 4-5 month period my mother experienced the following sequence of events. She fell and broke her hip; she needed hip replacement; and then she received 6 weeks of physical rehabilitation care. Once stabilized, she returned home. Within several weeks she fell again, breaking her spine with a compression fracture of L-1. For that injury, at her age, there is no chance for a complete recovery. However, they sent her to another 6 weeks of physical rehabilitation treatment.
Back to a new, lower baseline, she returned home. Once again, she fell. Only this time she suffering a cerebral bleed deep in the brain, compromising her ability to swallow, making it a challenge to drink and eat. […]
There was a recent study of young adult millenniums. When asked about their life goals for their own happiness, 80% wanted to become wealthy and 50% hoped to become famous. However, they do not seem to realize that when you create a graph comparing happiness with wealth and fame, it is bell shaped graph. Money and acclaim do not lead to happiness. They do not even lead to health and longevity.
There has been an ongoing study for the past 70 years, called the Harvard Study of Adult Development. It has followed Harvard graduates through their full adult lives into their 90s, but it has also followed poor, disadvantaged adolescents in Boston through their adult lives into their 90s. The results have been consistent for both groups and the results clearly indicate what everyone needs for happiness, health, and longevity.
The nutritionists can debate the best eating style. Leaders in health care can debate the chemicals and toxins in our air, food, and […]
What is going to happen to our current national health care? If democrats win, it will be slowly expanded to capture more and more of our citizens. If republicans win, it will be dramatically changed with the elimination of the Affordable Care Act. With either party, there will be changes; and with either party, changes always bring initial upheaval and access problems to the health care system.
So, what is my recommendation? First, don’t let the elections become too stressful, as that is not good for your health. Second, make certain you maintain (or develop) good eating habits so you can continue your current level of health. Our health care system is still problematic, so you do not want to depend on it; and you certainly do not want to depend on it over these next two crucial years.
There’s one good point for this election cycle. No politicians are claiming that we have a great health care system. A quick fact check would prove them wrong, so none of […]
Are you feeling angry? Upset? Disgusted? Sort of like Donald Trump? Well, you can blame some of it on your Neanderthal genes. Homo sapiens? Yes, we are. But did you know that most of us, especially those with European or Asian ancestors, have a gene pool where 2% of our genes comes from the Neanderthals, not from the Homo sapiens?
If you do not recall the evolutionary battle between the early Homo sapiens and the Neanderthals, let me offer a brief history. 50,000 years ago, when the Homo sapiens emerged in Africa, we were forced to compete with the Neanderthals, especially in the Middle East. If Vegas had been around in those days, we would not have been the betting favorites. I’d say our odds would have been 10:1 against us.
Neanderthals had already been the planet for 200,000 years. They were stronger, tougher, and even smarter. At the beginning of the competition their brains were much bigger than ours. But we had two evolutionary advantages. […]
Usually I utilize this web site for my series of videos, but today I wanted to try something different. After the publication of my book, A Father’s Letters, I received a number of emails, asking me to explain why I wrote all of those letters and asking me if I thought they had made a real difference in helping my daughters through college and through the transition from adolescence to adulthood. I have written a number of emails, responding to those questions, but I thought I would include this link to a recent radio interview that addressed those same questions. If, after listening to the short interview, you have more questions, please feel free to write. I will try my best to respond, as I am hoping every parent works to improve their communication and their relationship with their children. Nothing is more important.
Do you want your child to become one of your best lifelong friends? Where you remain close for your entire life? Most parents would answer yes to that question. But for many parents, the outcome never happens. What did those parents do wrong? What can other parents do right? If you want your child to become a lifelong friend, you have to be more than loving and supporting. You have to give them the freedom to find their own gifts, develop their own passions, and chart their own purpose. They cannot accomplish those crucial tasks with an intrusive, hovering parent. Strange. The more you let go, the more likely they at to come back.
There’s another component for reaching this relationship goal. During their college years, it is a great time to start sharing more of yourself. Why not share more of your history, your mistakes, and your lessons? Why not share more of your own dreams and fears? As a child, the son or daughter just wants your love and support. As an adult, they want to know the real you — your values, your beliefs, and your priorities. As for me, I just published my own attempt at […]
How can you help your college student? Easy. By becoming a better parent. In truth, most parents need to grow as much during college as do their students. Too many parents encourage their students to select the high-income majors and chase the highest income jobs. But that is not the path toward happiness. All studies reveal the disconnect between income and happiness. They are not directly related. Just read the tabloids and the problems of the wealthy. So, you have ask yourself two questions. Do you want your student to be rich? Or do you want your student to be happy?
There are a series of step that you can take to help your college student. Give them support and love. Allow them to follow their dreams and passions, not your dreams and passions. More importantly, allow them to focus on experiences outside of the classroom, not just the grades within the classroom, and allow them to focus on building friendships, not just careers. Passions and purpose. Connection and commitment. Those are the four pillars that lead to happiness. Those are the pillars that your students need to establish. Listen to this presentation. See if you agree.